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Nikki1030

I'm back! Give me hugs! I'm a survivor!

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Hey girls! Okay, usually I wouldn't make a post like this, but I've had a little gin and I'm feeling good.

I joined back in May and made several posts my first day that really tapped into my love of pro wrestling and femininity. After that first day though, I was kind of gone.

The fact is, I was raped by a man back in July 2012 (long ass time ago, certainly). It wasn't until a therapist called it "rape" that I sort of freaked out and lost my mind. I wasn't attacked or anything physically, I was just pressured by someone after I had said no - I was 21, the criminal was 37.

Most people don't assume I'm gay/bisexual, and certainly not that I'm "non-binary." They just figure I'm a goofy cishet nerd who loves wrestling and history. I dated a girl from 2015-2016, so no one really wonders anything.

But, there is an LGBT movement, ya know? If I did come out, I'd have something to go off of. But, I'm a fucking "adult male freeze rape" survivor, something there is no movement for. How am I supposed to know for sure that people will accept me? I THINK they will, but I can't know for sure.

There is a lot of rape in the LGBT community (unlike homophobes, I realize that that the victims are LGBT too, and that admitting sexual violence exists in a community does not mean homophobia is justified).

Fuck rapists! Fuck Cosby, Woody Allen, Spacey, whoever else.

Anyway, I went into therapy and it helped me a lot.

I realize now that it doesn't matter if there's a "movement" for my situation is not. Real friends and supporters will stand by me!

Give me your words of love! 155 kisses!

-Miss Nikki <3 <3
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You don’t need anybody’s validation baby. You got help and made it through. With situations like that, some people don’t even leave the house. Speaking out about it means you won, that ***** is TRASH and he’ll get his. Having even if it’s only 1 person that keeps it a buck and always has your back will always be better than a bunch of unsure bodies that only speak to get attention and “credit”. Nothing wrong with how you went about it sis, you’re stronger now! Welcome back sis!

kFUIcUN.gif

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1 hour ago, Angelic said:

You don’t need anybody’s validation baby. You got help and made it through. With situations like that, some people don’t even leave the house. Speaking out about it means you won, that ***** is TRASH and he’ll get his. Having even if it’s only 1 person that keeps it a buck and always has your back will always be better than a bunch of unsure bodies that only speak to get attention and “credit”. Nothing wrong with how you went about it sis, you’re stronger now! Welcome back sis!

kFUIcUN.gif

Thank you so much sis!

<3 <3 <3

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I'm so happy for you sis, you got over this situation and are now in a good place in your life again and that takes a lot of courage. Welcome back and let's hope you have a very good time in HB this second time around :heart:

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I'm so happy that you overcame a terrible time in your life and you are moving forward, that in itself takes a lot of courage. Welcome back to HB forums (to be honest I was wondering where you had went!). Keep being you & never mind what other's think of you! Much love! xox

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I don't know you but thank you for being strong in such a horrible nightmare. Welcome back!

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Welcome back :aj: glad you’re in a better place now. 

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Don't know you at all but hearing your story is heart touching! Welcome back x

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Welcome back. You're a warrior and I love ya!! So glad you are 10x stronger now. 

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Forget anyone's opinion, and forget any labels. You're a hard-as-nails, tough-as-hell, brave, inspiring survivor. Sadly a lot of people couldn't deal with what you had to (through no fault of their own), and even less could talk about it openly. Telling that kind of story to anyone, even strangers on the internet, is one of that bravest things anyone could ever do.

Welcome back, it's a pleasure to have you.

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