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      HB Rants and Struggles - A Venting Thread


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      Yesterday my doctor diagnosed me with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder.) I broke down in tears when I started talking about my depression and anxiety and how this shit had me by the necK since my early

      I am feeling better guys. Miss my Mum like crazy. But I know that she is in a better place because her health was really bad.

      Hmmm just found this thread, What don't I struggle with

      But the most important thing is with my mum. She has Arthritis, Bronchitis, Diabetes, Asthma and other stuff. She puts herself down a lot. And when me and dad tell her to stop she gets angry with us. Even when we tell her that life without her would suck. Her arthritis is so bad that she cant work. She is also trying to still grieve for her dad that passed last year. And misses my brother who lives in London. There are times that she just gets angry with my dad or me for no real reason. There have been times that I have actually thought that my dad was going to walk out as he gets frustrated with her. And just about has.

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      I'll reply with proper gif later but yes... I did.

      It's hard when all of the gays either seem the same or they just don't hold any interest.

      I have some other suitors though. When my mind is set on one it's SET! It just takes some time to move on

      That's how I am tbh. Every time I talk to a guy its like cool. But I can never get myself to actually like the person. I haven't liked - liked anyone since like 2011... When I was with my ex at the time. And I was in love with him. I've moved on now but honestly no one can hold my interest. Makes me question if I'm gonna die alone. And it may be bad but I want someone who I find attractive and someone I genuinely find interesting. brb gonna go listen to Adele or something.

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      That's how I am tbh. Every time I talk to a guy its like cool. But I can never get myself to actually like the person. I haven't liked - liked anyone since like 2011... When I was with my ex at the time. And I was in love with him. I've moved on now but honestly no one can hold my interest. Makes me question if I'm gonna die alone. And it may be bad but I want someone who I find attractive and someone I genuinely find interesting. brb gonna go listen to Adele or something.

      tumblr_mwlwovZZEO1s8grxmo1_400.gif

      The attractive vs genuinely interesting ratio is so wobbly :cry:

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      Hmmm so this is ranting about things in real life.

       

      Okay. Let me begin.

       

      Sigh. If anyone knows about fragrance sensitivities or allergies then you'll definitely understand where I am coming from.

      I have been dealing with this for many years. I DO NOT go into Sears because of this. They have their perfume section right at the front door and in the middle of their store. I cannot stress enough how awful it is to just walk by that store (through the mall) and have my eyes water.

       

      I work in a medical building and most departments have signs up raising awareness about perfume allergies/sensitivities. It's basic knowledge anyway that you shouldn't be wearing, or drowning in that when you enter a medical facility. If by chance I come into close range with someone who is drenched in offensive perfume, my eyes water, I sneeze or cough and if it gets worse, I can get dizzy, nauseated and have a hard time concentrating. (Not to mention the other things that can happen, respiratory problems etc)

       

      It has happened to me before. I got sick, nauseated, dizzy and had a very hard time standing straight. My luck would be my coworkers who helped me out and the scariest part was being brought to the hospital by ambulance! I was actually close to that a few years prior as well when a woman, wearing a fur coat was drenched in perfume which may not have been on her, but it was all over her fur coat asked me if I had a cold. I told her I was allergic to perfume and she said she wasn't wearing any. It disgusted me to be honest, because she wrote a complaint about me and said I made her feel targeted or something which I did nothing of the sort. I simply answered her question as to if I had a cold and said it was allergies to perfume. Believe me, this lady was an uppity bitch with all her expensive jewellery, fur coat and snotty attitude. It's one thing to deny you're wearing vats of perfume but then to make up bullshit lies is another. Trust me, she's not the first to do that.

       

      It's just the sheer ignorance that gets to me.

       

      So it's no surprise that I also have sensitivities to cigarette smoke as well. There is a law that prohibits smoking within 30 feet of any entrance way. Well, some smokers feel entitled to "do what they want," because "they want to," and continue to plague the front doors of any establishment. Personally I could care less if you smoke. I do however care that you're inhibiting my free clean air and putting me at risk of being admitted to the hospital because you "want to do what you want," and "don't care" about others. Well, I'd like to do what I want too. I'd like to walk into a building and not have to cover my face because your smoke might cause a reaction. I'd like to walk into a building breathing fresh clean air.

       

      I once told a guy that he wasn't supposed to be smoking there and he told me to :michael:  off. I pointed to the sign and said 30 feet, you're not even 1. He then gave me the finger. I said, to him, "okay, when I'm in the hospital because of your cigarette smoke, I'll bill you for all my expenses because you want to do what you want to do!" and he rolled his eyes. So I got angry and said, "Now you can :michael:  off!"

       

      I just don't get why people have to be so ignorant.

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      I go to a Community College and right now I'm taking a class where I'll either fail(D or F) or barely pass and get a C. The thing is if I get a C I can't retake the class and I know I won't be happy with that grade. Now I'm trying to decide which would look worse to potential colleges I want to transfer to: a failing grade or withdrawing.

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      Can't wait until I get my degree so I can stop being fake nice to my family so they can continuously pay my tuition. I appreciate everything they do, but my step-dad is the spawn of Satan and his demon daughter makes my head spin. Them running over my mom is making me dislike her for some odd reason. Like she seems so unbothered by the demons flying around her house.


       


      Idgi, hopefully my prayers come true and that divorce comes.


      Eva-Marie-gifs-004.gif


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      Can't wait until I get my degree so I can stop being fake nice to my family so they can continuously pay my tuition. I appreciate everything they do, but my step-dad is the spawn of Satan and his demon daughter makes my head spin. Them running over my mom is making me dislike her for some odd reason. Like she seems so unbothered by the demons flying around her house.

       

      Idgi, hopefully my prayers come true and that divorce comes.

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      Girl, I feel that. I hate my mom's boyfriend's son, too. He is the actual devil. She doesn't like him, either, and she has thrown a fit or two about how bad he is, and he just turned 13 this year so his shit's about to get real, so my mom's bags are practically packed.

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      Girl, I feel that. I hate my mom's boyfriend's son, too. He is the actual devil. She doesn't like him, either, and she has thrown a fit or two about how bad he is, and he just turned 13 this year so his shit's about to get real, so my mom's bags are practically packed.

      Glad that she's getting out before it's too late. Demon has my mom wrapped around her finger tbh, like I tried to tell her that it's a whore but she got mad and stopped my funds for a while.   :rot:  :rot:

       

      Good luck, I'm trapped until Graduation

      Eva-Marie-gifs-004.gif

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      • 3 months later...

      I became friends with a girl this summer that I was also kind of interested in, but that didn't go anywhere because she has a boyfriend and I always fail with females. Anyway, she's been missing since Saturday and I'm worried sick about her. She was last seen with her boyfriend, who says they got into an argument and she walked away, but he supposedly doesn't know where she is. She's currently with child and it's a high-risk pregnancy. 

       

      It's not looking good considering how many days it's been and the circumstances surrounding it. I've known the guy a long time and I don't feel like he would do anything to harm her, but they were supposedly last at the park which is in the middle of town and if she did indeed walk off, she wouldn't have just vanished.

       

      I just moved too and I'm not currently in a position where I can go back and help look for her. :crying2:

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      I became friends with a girl this summer that I was also kind of interested in, but that didn't go anywhere because she has a boyfriend and I always fail with females. Anyway, she's been missing since Saturday and I'm worried sick about her. She was last seen with her boyfriend, who says they got into an argument and she walked away, but he supposedly doesn't know where she is. She's currently with child and it's a high-risk pregnancy. 

       

      It's not looking good considering how many days it's been and the circumstances surrounding it. I've known the guy a long time and I don't feel like he would do anything to harm her, but they were supposedly last at the park which is in the middle of town and if she did indeed walk off, she wouldn't have just vanished.

       

      I just moved too and I'm not currently in a position where I can go back and help look for her. :crying2:

       

      Omg :crying2: Hope everything works out and she's found safe and sound.

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      This is a little petty compared to everyone else's (best wishes), but I start college in two weeks and I'm breaking out. My going away gift, you ask? ProActiv charging my card two weeks ago and refusing to fucking ship.

       

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      Having a moment today. :( shocked I've made it this far at work without crying.

      Why is is to hard to be happy for people when you're alone and miserable?

      When they are going everywhere and has someone sticking out their neck to spend time with them.

      Yet you're at home eating ramen all week stressing and depressing.

      I need a hotline tbh

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      Done & done babe. Praying.

       

      Thank you. Still no answers at this point. I phoned in an anonymous tip last night as I realized a couple things on the timeline didn't add up and there's a guy that they haven't even talked to who could be apart of this equation. I just want her to be safe. 

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