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      HB Rants and Struggles - A Venting Thread


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      Thank you. Still no answers at this point. I phoned in an anonymous tip last night as I realized a couple things on the timeline didn't add up and there's a guy that they haven't even talked to who could be apart of this equation. I just want her to be safe.

      Omg that must be awful! Really hoping you hear some good news soon!

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      Yesterday my doctor diagnosed me with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder.) I broke down in tears when I started talking about my depression and anxiety and how this shit had me by the necK since my early

      I am feeling better guys. Miss my Mum like crazy. But I know that she is in a better place because her health was really bad.

      I don't know if I should be worried or not but my BF have talking about marriage a lot recently! and I am getting worried. LordT my dad would cut my throat. :skull:

      Am late af. I know it's not of my business, but if you don't plan to marry him or end up with him, why are you still dating him?, he'll just get more attached to you and by the time you break up it'll be hard for you two, because i'm guessing you're feelings for him will grow as much as his feelings for you. :shrug:

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      Yo I just saw a vine with a guy that had a nike check tattooed between his eyes. I feel that tattoo artists shouldn't allow people to get retarded tattoos. Like why? Why did you just permanently brand your self like a business's logo? For why? Are you sponsored by Nike? Are they cutting you checks? No you just look stupid as hell and unemployable.

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      :cry: is there a way where non users can't see posts? I think Taylor showed someone how to do it with pics, idk if there is with text posts

       

      There's attachments if you want to do that with images. Not sure on how that can be done with just text :laycry:

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      I have an older sis who has Parinoid Personality Disorder who's been livin with us for about a year now with her 5 yr old child. She accused me of stalking her since the 8th grade (6 years ago...) and confronts me on a regular basis over petty shit. She cussed me out because I asked the receptionist at the hospital when my niece's appointment ended because she refused to tell me. Good thing I asked because I would have been stuck waiting for 2 hours, bitch.

      Anyway, she's grown af, like 30 yrs old and talking back to our parents and talks shit to my mom's face. All she does is sit down, eat and watch TV all day and plays victim whenever we put our foot down and tell her enough is enough. My other sis paid off her car for her ($4k) a couple of years ago before she fucked up her life, and she cussed her out eventually and said she was working with her "ex", who was in jail at the time, and blamed her for things but didn't specify... That's another thing, she'll say you did stuff to her but never goes into detail bc all of it is made up in her head.

      I sit in my room all day until I have to go to work because I don't even want to interact with her. I'm so fucking sick of her and I would have kicked her out of the house by now. I honestly can't wait for classes to start later this month so I can leave this hell hole and be away from her. Now I know why her baby daddy threw her dramatic ass to the curb. I'd do the same if someone was making me drink myself into a coma every night.

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      I have an older sis who has Parinoid Personality Disorder who's been livin with us for about a year now with her 5 yr old child. She accused me of stalking her since the 8th grade (6 years ago...) and confronts me on a regular basis over petty shit. She cussed me out because I asked the receptionist at the hospital when my niece's appointment ended because she refused to tell me. Good thing I asked because I would have been stuck waiting for 2 hours, bitch.

      Anyway, she's grown af, like 30 yrs old and talking back to our parents and talks shit to my mom's face. All she does is sit down, eat and watch TV all day and plays victim whenever we put our foot down and tell her enough is enough. My other sis paid off her car for her ($4k) a couple of years ago before she fucked up her life, and she cussed her out eventually and said she was working with her "ex", who was in jail at the time, and blamed her for things but didn't specify... That's another thing, she'll say you did stuff to her but never goes into detail bc all of it is made up in her head.

      I sit in my room all day until I have to go to work because I don't even want to interact with her. I'm so fucking sick of her and I would have kicked her out of the house by now. I honestly can't wait for classes to start later this month so I can leave this hell hole and be away from her. Now I know why her baby daddy threw her dramatic ass to the curb. I'd do the same if someone was making me drink myself into a coma every night.

       

      For how long has she been diagnosed? Has she gotten treatment?

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      I have an older sis who has Parinoid Personality Disorder who's been livin with us for about a year now with her 5 yr old child. She accused me of stalking her since the 8th grade (6 years ago...) and confronts me on a regular basis over petty shit. She cussed me out because I asked the receptionist at the hospital when my niece's appointment ended because she refused to tell me. Good thing I asked because I would have been stuck waiting for 2 hours, bitch.

      Anyway, she's grown af, like 30 yrs old and talking back to our parents and talks shit to my mom's face. All she does is sit down, eat and watch TV all day and plays victim whenever we put our foot down and tell her enough is enough. My other sis paid off her car for her ($4k) a couple of years ago before she fucked up her life, and she cussed her out eventually and said she was working with her "ex", who was in jail at the time, and blamed her for things but didn't specify... That's another thing, she'll say you did stuff to her but never goes into detail bc all of it is made up in her head.

      I sit in my room all day until I have to go to work because I don't even want to interact with her. I'm so fucking sick of her and I would have kicked her out of the house by now. I honestly can't wait for classes to start later this month so I can leave this hell hole and be away from her. Now I know why her baby daddy threw her dramatic ass to the curb. I'd do the same if someone was making me drink myself into a coma every night.

      Omg. That's awful. Has she gotten any treatment?

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      Omg. That's awful. Has she gotten any treatment?

      No, usually people with PPD don't believe there is something wrong with them and refuse treatment or end up believing the therapist is "out to get them"

      For how long has she been diagnosed? Has she gotten treatment?

      I self diagnosed her :rot: but I know she has it cause she's shown every single symptom.

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      No, usually people with PPD don't believe there is something wrong with them and refuse treatment or end up believing the therapist is "out to get them"

      I self diagnosed her :rot: but I know she has it cause she's shown every single symptom.

      I'm sorry love. It's so hard when family struggles.

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      I fucking have issues where I stop talking to my cousin for no reason or I get jealous that he gets along with other cousins and I hate it cause I feel left out even tho he sais I'm his favorite cousin and I just hate being gay because I feel like I don't have great relationships with my male cousins and when I finally do with him I fuck it up and stop talking to him and I feel like he's sick of putting an attempt and I fuck everything up and I apologized a week ago and it sucks because he would always text me everyday and now it's nothing .

      For the first time he said loved me which no cousin male or female has ever said and it felt great but yesterday he didn't even talk to me , things don't feel the same anymore and I hate myself for it

      Last year I stopped talking to him for about 4 months because of a situation that occurred where we were supposed to go to LA and things didn't work out . I apologized in person to him for being an asshole and then we had heart conversations via text a couple of times and things got better but now I'm just like wtf dude .

      I miss having good times with him. I've never had a male cousin who wants to have a great relationship with me so I miss this fucker and I'm the type to not confront people cause I don't want to seem like a little bitch

      Basically I hate myself for fucking up a relationship with my cousin

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      When there's only one (possibly two) dicks that you crave yet you don't want to ruin anything you have going nor friendships.

      It's hard not being a trashbox... And being difficult when they have tons of apps to solve this situation.

      Rosa-day-off-gifs-003.gif

      Still stuck on my work lover though... I want to shove him down and make out with him but I also don't want to get fired.. Or lose him.

      Is their an off button to being gay? I need a breather.

      More of a breather than not having sex because you're emotionally consumed with one person to where any Average Joe unlocking pictures for you seem like bums.

      Let me stan Nikki's PDA-heavy real life.

      Rosa-day-off-gifs-003.gif

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      I fucking have issues where I stop talking to my cousin for no reason or I get jealous that he gets along with other cousins and I hate it cause I feel left out even tho he sais I'm his favorite cousin and I just hate being gay because I feel like I don't have great relationships with my male cousins and when I finally do with him I fuck it up and stop talking to him and I feel like he's sick of putting an attempt and I fuck everything up and I apologized a week ago and it sucks because he would always text me everyday and now it's nothing .

      For the first time he said loved me which no cousin male or female has ever said and it felt great but yesterday he didn't even talk to me , things don't feel the same anymore and I hate myself for it

      Last year I stopped talking to him for about 4 months because of a situation that occurred where we were supposed to go to LA and things didn't work out . I apologized in person to him for being an asshole and then we had heart conversations via text a couple of times and things got better but now I'm just like wtf dude .

      I miss having good times with him. I've never had a male cousin who wants to have a great relationship with me so I miss this fucker and I'm the type to not confront people cause I don't want to seem like a little bitch

      Basically I hate myself for fucking up a relationship with my cousin

      Things are good with me and my cousin now. I apologized to him and basically told him what a dick I am. What really touched me is when he said I love you for the first time in person last week. A cousin has never said I love you so it meant a lot not in a weird way btw . We are good , even tho the next day he didn't really speak to me but then I confronted him yesterday about it and he just said he didn't mean to come off as mad but that him and me are alike that we have serious faces lol . But yea I told him I love him last night and I don't show love to people lol .So I'm glad we are good . He's my favorite cousin maybe lol I'm happy I have a cousin who cares about me

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      Bottom "diets" are horrible. Especially when you like spice.

      I'm kind of hoping my plans don't fall through tonight though I'm in more heat than Miami.

       

      I was about to say wait I thought you were a top, but then I did my homework and see that your verse getting the best of both worlds.  :fan:  

       

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      I don't know what I want to be a 100% when I'm older, and I'm starting my senior year in a few weeks. The thought of college is making my heart race also. I usually don't get shook about things like this but I actually feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. I don't wanna be a shitty booty bottom who works fast food after high school, I wanna go away somewhere and progress with my life. At the same time I'm also a little bit excited to start school, I've spent too much time with my friends this summer and I'm lowkey sick of them. I also hate boys, somebody convert me back to being straight.

       

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      First week driving too school and what do they do? they fucking start construction on the highway I need to take so I'm stuck in a traffic jam for like 15 minutes or people are hurriedly trying to merge cause they didn't have any fucking construction signs up to warn people :rot:

       

      thankfully it seems they are finished now.

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      I don't know what I want to be a 100% when I'm older, and I'm starting my senior year in a few weeks. The thought of college is making my heart race also. I usually don't get shook about things like this but I actually feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. I don't wanna be a shitty booty bottom who works fast food after high school, I wanna go away somewhere and progress with my life. At the same time I'm also a little bit excited to start school, I've spent too much time with my friends this summer and I'm lowkey sick of them. I also hate boys, somebody convert me back to being straight.

       

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      Try being 25, feeling "older" and already freaking out because you STILL don't know and NEVER had a clue.

      I'm about to drown under this quarter life crisis.

       

      I'm fucking working 1 retail job as an associate and expecting that to cover rent and my life. Foolish I know but I mean what else is there to do without a plan? I'm ready to quit but will only be left with more slave work at retail or fast food.

      BhprZYx.gif

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      Try being 25, feeling "older" and already freaking out because you STILL don't know and NEVER had a clue.

      I'm about to drown under this quarter life crisis.

       

      I'm fucking working 1 retail job as an associate and expecting that to cover rent and my life. Foolish I know but I mean what else is there to do without a plan? I'm ready to quit but will only be left with more slave work at retail or fast food.

      BhprZYx.gif

       

       

      Life is so hard, I wish I was a Sim or something.

      04.gif

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      Sometimes I do feel the same way Travis does, except I do have a solid plan in mind. Question is that do I really see myself doing that for a living?

       

      I'm currently aiming to be a computer software engineer, trying to supplement that with a computer science (And AP too) class this year and my senior year. To say I busted my ass over it is an understatement. I did mention in my blog that an average day consists of classes and time afterschool (until mid-late night) for my engineering club at school. It really is too much at times you know?

       

      There are so many standards/expectations people expect me to uphold. Being korean automatically puts me in that category. I've had success before with the competitions before, I got to travel for free and meet new people, but there's only so much you can do. Is 200 days of pain in the ass worth the 1-2 fantastic days? I still don't know tbh. Lots of people view me as the "smart kid" and even though on paper I am, I don't feel that way about myself at all. I'm just afraid of that one day if I screw up and it costs me a whole lot of shit. I'm also #1 in my Junior school rankings so people constantly whispering "valedictorian" in my mind isn't helping either. It happened with people who graduated before me. So getting Asian vibes, "you have to live up to last year" vibes, and "one mess up and it hurts you" vibes is overwhelming at times. I really want to get past this year because it is my most difficult one no doubt. I need peace of mind and I didn't have that during summer vaca either (SAT stuff and homework as well as trying to plan ahead). I feel like I won't be at peace until I drop these expectations and be on a same level getting into college. 

       

      Some people are saying I'm stretching it, but Cornell really is my dream school. I want to be able to make my choices in life, choose where I get to go and how much I make. Sometimes I wonder if what I do will be good enough. Its really difficult if you consider the fact that west coast schools are always told to play catch up with the east coast. Ugh, this year is going to be so much hell. There's so much factors, changing my world view, experiencing things I want to do, deciding what I want to do, and if it'll be worth it in the end.

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